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Ask Sarah
Are you a parent of a teen/tween with a burning question?
Do you work with young people and want some advice?
Are you a school who wants to pick Sarah’s brains?
Or an organisation who needs to motivate their young workforce?
If you have a question about connecting with, engaging with or motivating young people, then I am here to help… Ask me, your wish is my command…..
Here is how I can help you.
1. Send me a question to asksarah@genyguide.com and I will answer it on my blog for you.
2. Ask me a question right below in the discussion area. I check this at least every 24 hours so you get a reply as quickly as possible.
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Hi Sarah-my 12 year old son has been diagnosed with clinical depression. We are being seen by CAHMS and I am waiting for contact from Young Minds. He sleeps alot,hardly eats,wont come out of his room. The trigger for this was a broken leg. The cast came off on June 16th which is when he crashed. Prior to that I was aware he was low. He has had a year of poor health which means he has been inactive. He is complicated as a person and considered bright. His school friends are all away -and he says he does not want to see them anyway. We get conflicting advice eg: just put his meals on the table and bin them if he does not come down -I am uncomfortable with this as I think if he does no eat he has no chance of fighting his deppression. All the advice is that he needs to get out and begin to be active-both for his mood and his leg. I am trying hard t avoid prozac which they have suggested. He is adamant he wont take it. I am trying a herbal remedy from a qualified practioner and have a homeopath coming -I will try most things. He has a younger brother and obviously this imapcts on the whole family as we feel stuck. As parents we are at our wits end and I am losing confidence. I do tell him I love him and I do try to be positive and also use logic. I am asking for advice wherever I can get it at the moment. I even had the idea to try to find someone neutral to come and get him out doing stuff as his resistance seems to be more so with me as his mum. He has school work to catch up with and next year he wants to be able to change school and go with all his friends. I am saying his health comes first at the moment. I could waffle on -lets just say we are at our wits end-any ideas?
Hi,
Thanks for contacting me this must be a very challenging situation for you. The fact that he is inactive is key here the link between inactivity and depression is big if he could just move his body he would start to feel better. Have you thought of hiring a male personal trainer at all to motivate him? What you must remember is that this is his choice and does not reflect on you as a parent at all. A good book for you to read would be Choice theory by William Glasser it may put this into perspective. He will b picking up your anxiety to and I think someone from the outside may be a very good solution. You also need to find some support for yourself. I highly suggest getting hold of that book most parents find it extremely helpful and I also think a male personal trainer who can also motive him will be a really good idea. Ref his meals you know your son and you must decide what is right. At times like this advice comes from everywhere you are his parent and in our heart you know what is right for your family. Trust in yourself and your decisions.
Dear Sarah, My 14-year-old son, Mark, is very self-conscious about his appearance and has had trouble with his skin for the past 6 months. He refuses to go out apart from school but he’s even played truant a couple of times because he is so upset by his acne. I suggested that we go to the doctors but he is too embarrassed. I’ve tried all sorts of creams and face washes. What can I do to convince him to go to see a specialist? Charlotte
Hi Charlotte I don’t think you can convince him to go, I believe that this will have to be his decision. What you can do is set clear boundaries and let him know that is not OK for him to skip school because of his acne when he will not do anything about it. Don’t let him use it as an excuse when he will not take action to make it better. You really have to leave the decision to him. He needs to learn personal responsibility. Perhaps you could suggest he searches to see if there is anyway he can get help on line, which means that the embarrassment factor is taken away. Also see if there is a way you can speak to other parents who have gone through similar situations and ask what they did. However, at the end of the day, it is his body and he needs to make the decision for himself
Recent Question: I am preparing to start my home base business preparing teens and young adults for the marketplace. My question to you is when you develop programs to present to organizations and schools do you license them or do the school or organization pay your company a certain amt of money per month?
Hi, I do not deliver programmes like this at all. I develop the content and then deliver it and I have copyright. The organisation/school pays me to deliver and “invent” if I have not done it before. If I was developing something for someone else to deliver then there would be a development and training fee. What is the end result you want here and have you already been asked to do them?
Question :Was wondering what parents should do to connect with a moody or surly teen?
Answer :Great question Vanessa and a very complicated one to answer. I guess it depends as many things do on the reason for this behaviour. Ok so in answering this I am making an assumption that the first thing a parent has done is checked that there is nothing worrying the teenager. 1. Don’t take it personally. 2. Don’t let their behaviour have you treat them any differently. 3. Pull them up – if they are been disrespectful just tell them clearly what you expect and don’t expect. 4. Never give up trying to get through – just because them appear to not be listening does not mean they are not. Here are a few articles that may help http://finkblog.com/parenting-teens-tips/ http://finkblog.com/parenting-teens-tip-child-swears-at-you/ http://finkblog.com/parenting-teens-tip-six-%E2%80%93-what-to-do-when-your-teen-says-%E2%80%9Cit%E2%80%99s-not-fair%E2%80%9D/
Question: Isn’t Generation Y merely an age-group, just framed as something special by marketers?
Answer Great question…I think in one way it is, however I think it is a useful definition. We all like to classify things it helps us make sense of them and understand them more. When I speak about youth and teens I usually get a rolling of the eyes and people shut off but when I speak about Generation Y people are prepared to listen. I think for me the term is about getting noticed, been listened to and therefore been able to make a difference in the worlds of young people. To me Gen Y is a way for us to classify a group of young people very different them those who have gone before. Not since the 50’s has a group of young people been so different from their elders (and let’s face it the word teenagers came from the 50’s). We need to classify generations so we can see what and who has shaped them to help us understand more. It is in my mind very a positive thing