Parents as Leaders

Are you a Parent Leader

“As leaders we must stop trying to do what is easy with our children and start to do what is right. It is so easy for us to control, blame, shout and ground children when they don’t do what we want or what we say. It is far more difficult for us to concentrate on the relationship and ensure all our actions are actions from love. When something goes wrong with our teenagers we must stop trying to fix it and start to work on a loving and caring relationship instead.”

Five steps to support you in becoming a leader for your child.

1. Start with an end in mind – any great leader knows where you are going and where the final destination is. What is the vision for your child and your relationship with them? What is your purpose as a parent? What are you here to do?

2. See every challenge as an opportunity to learn – stop seeing problems and view everything as an opportunity, an opportunity for you and your child to learn and grow. When a sticky situation comes along don’t look at how you can fix the problem, but ask what you can all learn and what you can put in place to ensure it does not happen again.

3. Focus on the relationship – your children are not robots. They will not do as they are told all of the time, if any. They cannot be measured by what they do or what they don’t do or what grade they get or don’t get. If you focus on your relationship with them then you will not go far wrong. Before every action, ask yourself if what you are about to do will move you closer to or further away from your child; if its further away, then don’t do it. Choose to only do things that move you closer to them and work on the relationship.

4. Build them up – ensure that you focus on what is great about your child and not what is weak. Choose to build them up and not knock them down. Tell them daily what qualities you respect about them and how great they are. When they do something that’s not so great, just work with them to find solutions that focus on their strengths. We become what people tell us we are, so if you spent your time concentrating on their weaknesses, then they may become them. Concentrate daily on their strengths and bingo, they will fly!

5. “To be excellent parents, first be an excellent person” – I love this one from the Book Family Wisdom by Robin Sharman. To be a great parent you must be a great person first. So take a look at yourself. Where could you improve to become a leader in your life? What kind of role model are you for your children? What kind of leader are you? What could you change to become an excellent person and, in turn, an excellent parent?