Drugs and Youth

Drug Stats in the UK . Recent drugs stats for youth from the U.K.

Children and Mobiles

When is the right age to get your child a mobile?

As you know I have wrote a lot about this in the past see When should you get your child a mobile phone?.

Just found this great video on the matter so thought I would share it.

Keeping Teens Busy (and out of trouble) this summer

Teens and the Holidays!

Six in ten parents are worried about the cost of keeping their children busy in the school holidays, a survey suggests. And I am sure even more of them are worried about them getting into trouble.

By now I can imagine that a lot of parents already want the holidays to be over. Occupying your children and teenagers can be very challenging.

What do you do with a bored 14-year-old who just wants to spend all day on the computer or in front of the TV, eating food that would make Jamie Oliver use some of his very choice language?

Well, it is time to get them off the sofa and into action. Make summer the time when you whip them into action and get them doing something that they love. Inspire them rather than nag them. I think the summer months are great months to appeal to your teen’s sense of fun and adventure and getting them to do something will raise their confidence, abilities and prospects. Be it at summer drama school, creative writing course or a football school to brush up their skills, there is somewhere for everyone. A word of warning though, don’t try to force them or you will get nowhere, let this come from them and just support them in the organisation.
And it doesn’t have to cost a fortune. Before embarking on any summer holiday scheme, give your teen a budget to work with, a figure they have for all their Summer Fun.

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Trying to control our children

How letting go of control can be the best thing

Those of you that know me will know that I am a big proponent of Choice Theory principles. To me they make so much sense and William Glasser’s life-long work plays such a big part of what I do.

The fact that, as a nation, we don’t practice Choice Theory in our lives is, in my mind, the reason we are mostly so miserable and in conflict.

So I thought I would share with you today a few gems from his work for you to ponder…

“ Where we are unhappy our first thought is that we have to do something about it. For a parent unhappy with a teenager this is almost always means trying to do something coercive to make them change. Threatening, punishing, bribing will be your most common choices. You may even find someone like a counsellor to help you do this. You will never solve the probem by trying to make the other person see that you are right and they are wrong. The problem you are dealing with is never a simple one of who is right and who is wrong. When you disagree the prime consideration should not be who is right or wrong. It should be whether what you are trying to do will preserve or harm the relationship between you and your child. To preserve, even at times to improve your relationship, sometimes you may have to give in”

When most parents hear this they panic… we just don’t know what to do or what even could work.

What we need to remember is that any teenager’s activitiy is I believe tempered by the relationship with the adults

Over the next few months I am going to explore how you can use Choice Theory in your home, so if you are interested please stay in touch via RSS

In his work. Glasser talks about the seven deadly habits and the seven connected habits – this is what we will be discussing. I also want to go through the basic needs as Glasser refers to them and talk about the impact they can have in your home.

A deadly habit could harm the relationship – a correct one; well, it’s obvious!

Enforceable Statements

Getting your kids to do what you ask

I was recently reading something on the Love and Logic site about what they call enforceable statements. I thought it was such a great technique that I wanted to share it.

As those of you who have been around me for a while know, I am trained in Choice Theory and I believe that the fact we think we can control another is the biggest myth going and in fact, what makes us so miserable.

We all know that when someone tells us what to do, we are less likely to do it. In fact, there was a joke made of this in the Simpsons, where Homer had a parenting card that said, “Whatever you want the boy to do, ask the opposite.”

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How are a football team like a family?

Using football to connect with your teenager

Now, I have to say that I really dislike football, (must be all those matches I had to police) however I do think that this is an opportunity for you to really connect with your teenager.

So whatever your thoughts about football, have some fun with them over this period.

Watch games with them, have parties, invite their friends over and above all use it as a way to discuss teamwork.

So what can you learn from football?

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