How does your child’s personality affect their study habits?

Teens and Study

When working with your child to find the best study plan for them during their exams their are many factors you need to think about but one that is often overlooked is who they are, how the operate and see the world – their personality of coarse. Knowing their personality is really important, because that means they’re going enjoy it more.

The tool I use to work with personality is The Enneagram it is a personality-typing tool that’s thousands of years old. I love it. A lot of parents and teenagers I have worked with love it. It’s a really great tool to use.

When it comes to exams, I’m just briefly going to go through it and say how each type would want to study.

You have nine types.

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What can you do if your child is not interested in studying?

What if your teen is just not interested in studying?

When I took mock exams at school I failed every single one. I went on to leave school with eight O’ levels.
That was a massive achievement from failing. I wasn’t interested until I realized what failing meant. This goes back to the big “Why?”

What is it your child wants for the next six months, 12 months, 18 months or two years?

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What to do if your child is caught cheating.

Children and Cheating

Why are we so surprised when children cheat? Did we not all do it; if there is a quicker way to do something won’t we all give it a go? It is human nature to find a quicker way of doing something that uses less energy but gets the same results. Back in our cave days it made lots of sense for us to do this. However morally, it leaves us with an issue as parents. How do we get the point across about teaching without putting our children off trying things in a quicker more efficient way?

I am dead against us saying “Cheating is bad” to our children. To me it does not give the child enough information to make a future decisions when faced with a similar dilemmas.

So if your child is caught cheating what should you do?

1. First of all, don’t panic. It does not mean your child will fail in life or become a bum on the street corner. It is something quite normal that every child (and adult for that matter) does.

2. Ask them what they wanted to achieve by cheating…..was it to get a better grade, was it to put in less work , was it they did not have time, was it to stop the teacher shouting at them? What was it? What was the reason behind the cheating?

3. Ask them how they could have got what they wanted without cheating. How could they have got more time/a better grade without cheating?

4. What might lure them back to cheating, what may tempt them to do it again and how can they ensure that it does not happen?

5. Ask them what they think about cheating, what are the advantages and disadvantages of it? Come on, we cannot say it is all bad. It does for example save time, with that we cannot argue. Talk about the consequences of advantage and disadvantage. A consequence of choosing not to may be having to spend more time studying, a consequences of choosing to cheat may be that you leave school not really knowing anything fully.

6. Ask them what they will choose to do next time. The word choose is important here, there is a choice.
If the child is a little bit older you can talk to them about the law regarding copyright, etc. so they can get a real feel for what it means.

As for a consequence most often getting caught and the humiliation is enough and will stop any child really doing it again to any great degree. So if it is the first time, then let the consequences of getting caught be enough. If it continues then you really need to look at the root of the problem and step in a deal with that.

And there has been some research in the UK that has stated lying and cheating are signs of a creative intelligent child!

Work/Life Balance for Teens

Teenagers and Homework – what is too much?

I have recently become appalled at the amount of homework our schools are giving young people. My unofficial survey of over a hundred teens found that the average amount of homework is 2-3 hours a night. None of the teens I talked to were lying, this shocking statistic is true! Even one 12-year-old I spoke to agreed with this. What are we doing to our children – are we taking away their childhood because we as adults have decided that passing exams is THE most important thing in the world and that having fun and being a child is second on the list? It infuriates me!

Imagine doing an eight-hour day at work and then coming home with an extra 3 hours work every day – would you be happy? Now, I am not saying that this does not happen sometimes, but every day, and lets not forget that we are choosing this, our children have no say in the matter.

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How is your teen motivated?

What motivates your teenager?

When I am working with teenagers around study and school one of the first things I need to establish is how are they motivated. Are they motivated by pleasure or are they motivated by pain?

Pleasure – the joy of getting something and Pain the hurt of not or the fear of ending up a certain way.

When I was young I was certainly motivated by pain. The pain that motivated me was that I didn’t want to work in a factory in Scunthorpe selling knickers. All I knew was what I didn’t want. I didn’t want that, and it made me study harder.

You may have a child that wants a successful life with the Ferrari, the big house and everything. They are motivated by pleasure. Or you may have a child who does not want to do worse then their brother or end up going to the local college instead of the college of their choice.

Most people say they are motivated by pleasure, when actually it could be pain. Have a look. If a child says, “I don’t want to end up like that.” You can ask, “How do you think that person ended up like that? What do you think they did?” “What choices did they make?”

Ask what your teenager wants in their life and if they don’t give up what is it they don’t want. These don’t wants can be very strong motivators indeed!

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