Do you give chores or responsibility?

When it comes to your teenager, are you sick of them not doing what you asked them to do, or what they said they would?

Parents and teens seem to argue so much about chores and about broken promises – Yes, I’ll do it in a minute! So what is the answer, how do you get your child to do something you have asked them?

Well, for me it is about providing the situation and structure, which is more likely to get them to take action.

Let me give you an example. Recently, we were trying to get one of my daughters to start taking the responsibility for the washing up and to say it wasn’t working would have been an understatement! I was not taking any of my own advice; you see, I am human! So after a few weeks of the heated discussion, I decided it was time for a new tack; remember Rule Number One – people do not fail, systems fail. So I sat her down and told her that I wanted her to take responsibility for something in the house that would help us all. I asked her to decide what it should be and how and when she was to do it, as long as it worked for the whole family.

Can you see the difference, as opposed to, Do the washing up? She thought about it and said that Freya and her would be responsible for the washing up. OK, so they were supposed to be doing this already and it wasn’t happening, so I suggested putting a few guidelines in place, just to ensure their success. It needed to be done by eight o’clock each evening, other than that they were free to do it however they wished; it was her responsibility.

Something strange then happened; as she had been made responsible, she took responsibility, ensuring that her sister was there to help her, organising themselves to do it before the specified time and even putting a notice up, telling us all what to do to make her job easier….

So here is my question to you. Where could you give more responsibility and fewer chores to your child?

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