Enforceable Statements

Getting your kids to do what you ask

I was recently reading something on the Love and Logic site about what they call enforceable statements. I thought it was such a great technique that I wanted to share it.

As those of you who have been around me for a while know, I am trained in Choice Theory and I believe that the fact we think we can control another is the biggest myth going and in fact, what makes us so miserable.

We all know that when someone tells us what to do, we are less likely to do it. In fact, there was a joke made of this in the Simpsons, where Homer had a parenting card that said, “Whatever you want the boy to do, ask the opposite.”

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New! Advice line: For one-to-one Behaviour & Discipline

I now offer individual Behaviour & Discipline advice by phone!

Call my advice line any time on 0905 675 4611 – if I’m not available I will ring you straight back.

(£1.20/min from a BT landline; calls from mobiles and other networks may vary.)

Bullying and Twitter

I was very pleased to see bulying uk  talking about twitter although most of the youth I speak to  are not willing to give up there chat for twitter quite yet.

Is Twitter really a risk?

However what did worry me is that I think this report missed out the most important risk for youth on twitter.

I personally think sharing photos, videos and not showing your location will do little to protect youth from the real risk which is seeing inappropriate content.

The best advice you can give your child is to not follow anyone they don’t know. If you don’t follow them they can not send you a direct message . Most people’s direct messages are just full of sexual spam stuff you really do not want them seeing.

Read Sarah’s Parent’s Guide to Twitter

Getting your kid out of bed

How to wake your little darling up without a slanging match.

Missed the first article read it here Teenagers and Sleep

Here are my suggestions for getting them up.

• Go in at least an hour before they have to get up and open their curtains – natural light is a gentle way to bring someone around from a deep slumber.
• Get a very loud alarm clock in their room and set it for thirty minutes before they have to get up. Put it somewhere where they have to get up to switch it off.Then, if they are not up, go in five minutes before they are due to get up and in a stern authoritative voice, tell them it is time to get up.Do this two more times and then leave them to it.

  On the last occasion tell them that you will not be coming in anymore.

  A side note here is that making them go to bed early to get up early may not be a solution. Melatonin levels (which induce sleep) kick in much later with adolescents and sometimes will not peak until one or two in the morning. So even though they may go to bed, their pleas of, “I can’t get to sleep!” may actually be true. They are just not wired the same as we are when it comes to sleep.

   

The death of discipline

Punishing and Discipline – a rant

A recent study highlights the fact that today’s parents have forgotten that sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind! One in four parents refuse to discipline their children because they are worried they might upset them.

This survey led This Morning to do a phone-in for parents who wanted advice on disciplining their children.

What followed was controversial, to say the least. Denise, the agony aunt gave some solid advice and the child was at the centre of her responses, which is a pleasure to see. While her advice was maybe not as practical as it could be, I admired her for going against the grain.

However, the onslaught she received on the This Morning Facebook page made me very angry, to say the least.

With comments like,

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My Teen Won’t listen to my advice.

Parenting Teens

My Teen will not listen to me what should I do?

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