Browse > Home / Education / Is the relationship with the teacher the most important thing?

Is the relationship with the teacher the most important thing?

November 2, 2009 by Sarah Newton  
Filed under Education

20 Comments


Relationship vs. Measurement

“What students lack in school is an intellectual relationship or conversation with the teacher”.
William Glasser

I have to say that I love this quote and for me, it is the answer to everything when it come to education. A good relationship can heal a lot. Don’t you remember working for the teachers you liked and not for the ones you didn’t? It’s human nature.

However, for most schools this appears to be the last thing on the agenda. Don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming the schools or the teachers, the problem is the system, a system that put measurement above relationships.

I believe that relationships are the key to any long-lasting change. If we want to influence and impact the next generation then we must ensure that we build our relationships with them over anything else.

Relationships vs Measurement in Schools

It is so easy for us to focus on measurement, behaviour and attitude. So easy for us to look outside and blame a young person for a result that we find undesirable. It a takes a strong, courageous person to look inside and say, “What am I doing that is not allowing this person to shine?”

Our interactions should not be based on how to get this person to do what you want but by asking whether what you are about to do is going to harm or damage the relationship.

To influence a young person we must be in what is known as a sphere of influence. As a teacher, a parent or employer, we need to be in this sphere if we are to effect any change and support this young person to be who we know they can be. We can only do this if we have a strong relationship with them.

A strong relationship can do ten times more than any rewards or punishment can.

Our relationship with them should be based upon seeing a real human being and all the potential within, not just what they do. We should see the qualities in them and not just the behaviour in front of us. These relationships must be based on trust, understanding and equality. So often, adult/young person relationships are based on the adult having power, no trust and the adult having little understanding. How can we expect our young people to grow up as conscious, giving citizens if we treat them with mistrust and contempt?

Change only happens when someone cares enough about themselves and others to want to change.

And that can only happen when we care about a young person more than they hate themselves. We show this by putting the relationship with them above all else.

So what can you do in your school with your students to put the relationship before any measurement?

I would love to hear your ideas….

VN:F [1.9.2_1090]
Speak up and rate it!
Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.2_1090]
Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

Tags: motivate youth, Schools, teaching youth

Welcome back! Did you find this resource valuable? To receive resource updates, I invite you to subscribe via RSS or subscribe via email. You can also find me on Twitter. I'm looking forward to connecting with you!

14 Tweets

Comments

20 Responses to “Is the relationship with the teacher the most important thing?”

Trackbacks

Check out what others are saying about this post...
  1. dwd21.com says:
    December 28, 2009 at 5:00 am

    Teachers and Youth…

    It is so easy for us to focus on measurement, behavior and attitude. So easy for us to look outside and blame a young person for a result that we find undesirable….

    VA:F [1.9.2_1090]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.2_1090]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Reply
  2. blurp.co.za says:
    December 28, 2009 at 4:56 am

    Teachers and Youth…

    It is so easy for us to focus on measurement, behavior and attitude. So easy for us to look outside and blame a young person for a result that we find undesirable….

    VA:F [1.9.2_1090]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.2_1090]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Reply
  3. http://bbs.shang-shan.com says:
    December 28, 2009 at 4:55 am

    Teachers and Youth…

    It is so easy for us to focus on measurement, behavior and attitude. So easy for us to look outside and blame a young person for a result that we find undesirable….

    VA:F [1.9.2_1090]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.2_1090]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Reply
  4. pligg.com says:
    December 28, 2009 at 4:55 am

    Teachers and Youth…

    It is so easy for us to focus on measurement, behavior and attitude. So easy for us to look outside and blame a young person for a result that we find undesirable….

    VA:F [1.9.2_1090]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.2_1090]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    Reply
  5. Digital Youth Bring In Next Generation Education « Face Youth Lab says:
    November 9, 2009 at 6:58 am

    [...] is supported by Sarah Newton’s statement that “a strong relationship [with a teacher] can do ten times more than any rewards or punishment [...]

    Reply
  6. Teaching Piano Students « says:
    November 3, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    [...] Newton writes about the student/teacher relationship which is much more important than that old Czerny book [...]

    Reply


Discussions

Got something to say?
Speak up! And, don't forget your gravatar, you can get one here!

Additional comments powered by BackType